Stay Safe. Stay Legal.

Sadly in these times self protection has become a real issue for many people young and old. The vicious circle of carrying a weapon in case you get attacked by someone carrying a weapon is putting normally law abiding citizens at risk of doing something that will have massive implications on their futures.

But fear no more as I think I have found the solution!

Dog poo bags.

Yes that’s right dog poo bags, the small cheap often black or green bags us dog walkers carry in our back pockets to pick up the little parcels of smelly warm love our dear wonderful pets are so eager to do in public instead of in their own gardens.

It never fails to amuse me how far people will go to avoid me when I’m walking down the road with Tank in one hand while slightly swinging a small warm bag of dog poo in the other. No matter how young, old, big, small or slightly mentally deranged they look; no one wants to get close to me because of some strange inherent fear that I might hit them with the swinging bag of poop.

I get the feeling I have already sold the idea to you, but just in case your part of the small % of people scratching their head thinking “knife or poo” let’s take a look at the positives against the negatives.

Benefits of carrying a bag of poo over a knife:

• Potential muggers or attackers are less likely to approach you in the first place.
• No attacker will attempt to take the bag of poo off you.
• You can swing the poo as violently as you like and your never be sent to prison for defending yourself.
• They are cheap and can be brought in all major supermarkets.
• Even if you don’t have a dog you can always find some poo.

Negatives:

• Being attacked by a dog scat lover who only gets further excited by the presence of the dog poo bag.

So there you have it, a cheap legal way of guaranteeing your own personal safety.