Is exercise really that good for you once you get past
your twenties? I’ve decided to start playing football again over 10 years after
I had hung my football boots up, and my body is killing after just two weeks of
training.
IF exercise was good for you when you start going grey
and carrying a few extra pounds to keep the chill out at winter, then surely
your body no matter how unfit you are would feel better after it’s been
exercised? I know there is some medical mumbo-jumbo that tries to give an
explanation for why our body’s ache after exercise, especially if we haven’t done
much for a while, but ahhh come on seriously? What else do you do that is meant
to be fun but ends up actually hurting?
Imagine if mans favourite past time of walking Willie the
one eyed wonder worm made you hurt the next day the same way exercises does? Although
to be fair I haven’t ever stopped for long enough like I have with exercise to
find out, so maybe that’s a bad example?
Ok so scrap that but you get my drift? Things that are
meant to be fun and good for you regardless of age shouldn’t hurt. Plus where
have some of these exercises they have me doing come from? Has the bloke who
trains us done an apprenticeship in Somalia with the pirates learning new
torture techniques? Take Planking not only does it sound like swashbuckling pirate
talk, but after 20 seconds of keeping my body straight and off the floor with just
the use of my lowers arms and toes, id not only tell them where the treasure was I'd make
them a packed lunch for the journey.
I won’t even approach giving you my opinions on burpees
as I am trying hard to not swear on this blog, but if you don’t know what they are
so have never done them, don’t. In fact if anyone says to you “let’s do burpees”
make yourself burp and then run away as fast as you can because that person is
probably a Sadist.
The good news is I think I have a way of dealing with the
pain, a drink made from yeast-fermented malt flavoured with hops. It’s amazing
how much movement I get back with every can or bottle, so just as long as I
keep drinking this football training and “keeping fit” malarkey can’t actually get the
better of me! Ta da I know the secret that has obviously helped all our athletes
who have won so many medals at this year’s Olympics in London. They wouldn’t have
been able to keep up such a schedule of torment for four years without getting bang
on the source each evening, and it’s probably why despite continually being
unfairly taxed there is still a tidy profit being made by those who
make the true energy drinks with at least a 5% alcohol volume.
I will kick a competitive football again and I have beer
to thank for it, exercise and those who spread lies about its benefits can do
one.
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